Anything said while undergoing surgery is forgiven
But certainly (and unfortunately) not forgotten.
Margo sits on a bed in Einstein Clinic, that could have been located anywhere in the USA. Jeff sits next to her, holding her hand while Dr. Hudini and some staff members gather around the bed.
“You ready for this, Margo?” asks Dr. Hudini, looking down at Margo with a grin. “We’re going to put you under, because we don’t want you to move. Everything’s done with our microscope and robotic control.”
“I’m all knocked up and ready to take a snooze,” says Margo looking at the very handsome gentleman standing behind Dr. Hudini.”
“Good, This is our anesthesiologist, Dr. Shal.“
Dr. Shal, who must be older than he looks, steps in front of Dr. Hudini and extends his hand in a very western way. “Hi Margo. Can you tell me what we are doing today?”
After a very gentle shake, Margo says, “Sure, you are going to put me under, take out a tissue sample from my fetus, then extract the DNA, use CRISPR techniques to modify it so that it inserts the signal to grow additional arms within the fetus and then reinsert the DNA back into the fetus. Lastly, and most importantly, you will wake me back up.”
“Very good. I am going to give you something to relax you, then we will put you under just before we go into the operating room,” says Dr. Shal.
“Love that Valium! Better than a couple of margaritas! Bring it on. And don’t forget that last step,” Margo implores. “We don’t want to deprive the righteous from figuring out how to throwing me in jail back in the states.”
“My guess is this is not the first time you’ve crossed the righteous. Right now, even the scientists disagree a bit, but their attitudes change pretty quickly, if history is any guide”, say Dr. Shal while injecting a needle into Margo’s saline lines. Then they roll Margo out into the hall, joining a line-up of beds – a production line of extra limbs, Margo thinks. Quickly, she is distracted by Candy’s doppelganger rolling along next to her husband Tony’s doppelganger.
“Jeff, I‘m hallucinating – that lady over there looks exactly like Candy.”
Jeff follows Margo’s pointed finger and then his eyes widen. “Well then, I’m hallucinating, too, Margo. It is Candy and Tony. Let’s roll over.” Jeff pushes the bed down the hallway about 10 yards and leaves it right behind Candy.
“Candy! What on earth are you doing here!” Margo exclaims.
“I am giving my little darling an extra arm or two,” explains Candy while the two husbands chat.
“But, why? Your children are so exceptional!” says Margo, thinking about Candy’s children, excelling in sports and reading at 5 grade levels above their class. She was pretty sure Candy and Tony never had to take out a teacher.
“That is the point!” says Candy. “What chance would this child have to be as great as his brother and sister? We couldn’t strike the lottery 3 times! I am not surprised to see you here, though. I mean, you and your husband are these bright high achievers, but your kids…”
Overhearing this, Tony rushes up to the ladies’ beds. “Candy! Get a grip!“ Right then, Dr. Shal also shows up. “What is in that drip? Doctor? Truth Serum? Could you please just knock her out now!”
“It’s alright, Tony. See speaks the truth. That’s why we’re here,” says Margo. Then she looks to Dr. Shal, “But please, only give me half of that truth serum. I don’t want to start telling my husband about his friends I slept with in college. I mean, it was before we met, but still not a pretty tale.”
Jeff leans over to Tony and says, “This is tremendous! I think we have the start of the fifth limb little league here today!” The two men give each other a high five.
Next thing Margo remembers, it’s three hours later and she is sitting up in bed, talking away. In the middle of a sentence, she looks a bit confused and then asks Jeff how long she’s been talking. Jeff informs her that it has just been a few very amusing minutes. Before he can go into detail, Dr. Hudini comes in.
“Welcome back to the world Margo. You look much more alert now. Are you feeling OK?”
“I’m a little groggy still, but Jeff can take notes,” she tells the two of them. “Jeff, please pay attention because I may seem alert, but I won’t remember any of this.”
“She won’t remember propositioning poor Dr. Shal, either, so no need to remind her about that, Jeff,” exclaims Dr. Hudini.
“I did WHAT???” Margo demands to know.
“Don’t worry, Gogo,” begins Jeff, facetiously using his endearing nickname for her. “He says it happens all the time. If you see him again, you won’t remember this,” consoles Jeff. “I told them you’re a bit of a slut, but a positive cash-flow wife, so I ignore little indiscretions.”
“Jeff, if I had such a fabulous wife, I’d ignore the way she threw herself at my young, good looking anesthesiologists, too, at least while she’s pregnant.” Turning to both of them, he continues, “Everything went splashingly well, I dare say perfect,” said Dr. Hudini. “So, as soon as you can get up and give us a urine sample, Mirza will take you back to the hotel. And, I don’t care how well you feel, you are not to move around anymore than necessary for the next 3 days. You should feel fine, so this will be the most difficult part. After that, I’ll see you again and give you the OK to get back on that plane.”
“Great. Anything I need to watch out for?” Margo asks while rubbing her belly.
“Mild cramping is to be expected; but anything worse than that, you call my cell right away. Got it Jeff? “
“Roger,” Jeff responds.
“Roger? Who is Roger?” Dr. Hudini asks.
“Sorry, I need to fix this. It means I’ve got it. “
“OK, but really, who is Roger?” Dr. Hudini asks while rubbing his neck.
“I have no idea.” Responds Jeff.
“It is radio voice for “Received”, you know like when spelling something Romeo stands for R in the ICAO or International Civil Aviation Organization alphabet. If you were pilots, you would know this,” says Margo.
Jeff explains, “Margo’s dad was a pilot. Unfortunately, he went down with his plane when she was in her early 20s.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Margo. I’m sure he was an interesting man; you need to tell me about him sometime when we are back in the states.” Then turning to Jeff, he continues, “Speaking of communications, Jeff, how is your communication with Best Engineering going?”
“Just some confusion between cakes and pies.”
“That’s odd,” responds Dr. Hudini. “We have both cakes and pies here.” Turning back to Margo, he asks “Do you want to know the sex of Tinker Bell?”
“Of course we do! Was Tinker appropriately named?”
“If you think Tinker Bell is a female, then yes. I’ve heard some rumor that Tinker might be a gay guy – if that is your understanding then the answer is no. And, I can’t make predictions on gay – at least not yet. And, no, I am not going to try to change that if I can find it.
“I’ll see you Thursday afternoon, right back here. Now behave – and that means not even one margarita, no dancing and no sex. Just watch TV and read.” Dr. Hudini smiles at them and leaves the room.
“How does he know about my fondness for margaritas? “
“Because you were begging for one when you came out of anesthesia. I believe the exact words were “Will someone please tell me how many more f’ing days before I can have an ice cold margarita?”
“Oh no. I hope I was quiet about it. “
“Oh yes,” Jeff says barely keeping a straight face. “Meek as a mouse, you were.”
“Really?”
“No, not at all. Not At All. They couldn’t believe your lungs could be so strong right after intubation. Impressive Margo. “
“Anything else I need to know, other than propositioning poor Dr Shal?”
“Oh yes. You and Candy were in the same room waking up together. You told her you had a dream about the two of you dancing – at a bar for pregnant women. Then you said the two of you needed to go check it out back home. You said something about Bob Dylan playing. Tony asked me if bars for pregnant women were really a thing in California. “
“God! I did have that dream. I hope you told Tony not to worry.”
“I told him California has lots of weird fetishes, but I was pretty sure if that was one of them, you hadn’t been sneaking out and partying there. Candy won’t remember it; she was more out of it than you at that time. Tony might not even mention it to her.”
“Anything else?”
“Well, Candy was hitting on the poor anesthesiologist, too.”
“That had to be tempting – two pregnant women. “
“You told him the great advantage of pregnant women is you can’t get pregnant.”
“Alrighty then. Let’s see if I can do a wee bit of whizzing to get us out of here, before I see Dr. Shah again. “
Margo kisses Jeff as she eases off the bed.
“And, if they haven’t told you, we are going to have a little girl! I am pretty sure I got that right.”
“Margo, the doctor just told the two of us two minutes ago.”
“Sorry, God, I hope you took some excellent notes. You start thinking about names while I work on the sample.”