What's in a name?
How to Disadvantage a Child from Day One!
Arriving back at the hotel, Jeff gets a wheelchair for Margo, even though she insists she can walk just fine. Jeff informs her just because she could whizz doesn’t mean she can walk – at least not steadily. He tucks her into bed and heads to the thieving refrigerator to retrieve a wallet crushing soda for her and a beer that would be a bargain at any price for himself. Margo falls asleep quickly and wakes up a few hours later.
“So, do you want to hear my list of names? I’ve been working on them since you’ve been asleep and I have them fully categorized, by subject matter and then alphabetically.” Jeff says.
“How about we start with the categories and perhaps we can eliminate some entirely,” Margo suggests.
“After all this effort I put in it? “
“What have I been asleep for 2 days???” Margo asks.
“Ok, good point. We’ll start with the categories:
- Favorite character from fiction – human
- Favorite characters from non-fiction – human
- Favorite characters from fiction – animals / other nonhumans
- Names she will hate until she is older
- Names from a farm stand”
“Hold on. What on earth do you mean by that?”
You know, fruits, vegetables flowers, clever names from Jam jars.”
“I think we can just eliminate that whole category.”
“OK, but, Persimmon and Daisy highlight that list,” Jeff says.
“Did you have Apple and Chutney in there?”
“I think Chutney is a boy’s name; Apple is too Hollywood, but perhaps if we use them together – Apple Chutney?”
“Jeff, I think we can eliminate that list.”
“But Blossom is in there,” Jeff replies, looking up from his list.
“Tell you what, we can return to it if we’ve exhausted all other categories,” Margo says.
“That’s a deal. Then we have:
- Places we’ve been and people we know,
- Places we would like to go,
- The top 50 names of the last 5 years (which can be pulled straight from google), and
Of course I am just getting started. But, pick a category. “
“Let’s start with favorite characters from fiction, non-human.”
“ OK, Bambi, Safarina, Nala, “
“Well, at least we know her name won’t be the strangest thing about her,” Margo says. “People won’t have a hard time remembering her, and kids will have enough to make fun of her without a weird name.”
“Hey, she’ll have a buddy just down the street with extra limbs, too,” Jeff points out.
“Yes, Candy stole the thunder from us.”
A sudden look of realization exploded on Jeff’s face. “Didn’t you say you met Cindy at that soccer game where you found the flyer?”
“Yes, that was the first time we met her, right before the Animal Shelter auction. “
“Well, you ever consider that perhaps you stole her thunder?” Jeff asks raising his eyebrows.
“Oh my God! I bet you are right! I never put these things together. I‘ll have to forgive her for all those nasty things I was sloshing around my head about her being a copycat.”
For the next few hours, they go on discussing names, until Margo falls asleep again, right in the middle of “Disney Characters”; right in the middle of thinking how ironic the retro name Minnie would be for maxi-armed Tinker.
Not too long after Jeff racked up $40 worth of snacks from the maxi-priced mini bar a, Margo wakes up in pain. “Jeff, something is not right. Oh my god, I am really cramping!”
Jeff takes one look at his sweating, cringing wife and knows this is an emergency. He grabs a cold towel for her, and then calls Mirza, followed by Dr. Hudini.
“Do you think you are having a miscarriage?” Jeff asks.
“I don’t know. Just get me over to the clinic fast.”
Margo throws on some clothes and Jeff wheels her downstairs. Mirza arrives in record time and helps Margo into the car. “We could have called an ambulance, Mirza, but we thought you’d be faster,” Jeff tells him.
“Not to worry, Mr. Jeff, I have another gear to get her to the clinic extra fast.” For the first time, neither Jeff nor Margo will wish for Mirza to slow down.
Upon reaching the clinic, a stretcher awaits Margo, along with a couple of orderlies who quickly move her to the stretcher, through the doors and into a surgical suite. Dr. Shah somehow beat them there and without much discussion, he quickly hooks her up to a saline bag. As he rolls her down the hall, he says, “Sorry to see you back here so soon, Margo. But, don’t worry, we’ll have you fixed up in an instance. Dr. Hudini is right behind me – he’s washing up.” With that, he pushes the bed into the operating room area, leaving Jeff in the waiting area.
Forty minutes later, Dr. Hudini comes out to talk with Jeff. “Jeff, Margo and Tinker are fine. Let me go get out of my surgical outfit and then I’ll talk to both of you in a few minutes. The nurses will bring you to Margo in five minutes.” Jeff lets out a big sigh as he feels the wave of nausea releasing from his gut. What kind of irrational exuberance made him think it was OK to put Margo and Tinker at risk? How would he have lived with himself if there was permanent damage to either? There is no such thing as a risk free operation and It isn’t nice to fuck with mother. Even 6-pack rationalization wouldn’t work.
Margo is still out cold when Jeff first walks in. Sitting down on the bed next to her and taking her hand, he notices that the saline bag has already been disconnected. This is a good sign; they don’t think they’ll need to do more work and she must be very, very stable, Jeff thinks. A few minutes later, Margo slowly opens her eyes as Dr. Hudini enters.
“Margo, I’m sorry I couldn’t talk to you before you went under. We wanted to get to work as soon as possible, in case there was some internal bleeding. I got here as fast as I could and was waiting for you in the operating room.
“We’ve been waiting for you to wake up so we could talk together,” says Dr. Hudini. “The very good news is that you and the baby will be fine.” Then, after a small pause to make sure the news sunk in, he continues. “The bad news is the fetus appears to have rejected the new limb growths. I’ve never seen anything like this before – except in Darwin. I’ve taken some samples and I might eventually have an answer, but I know it won’t do you much good. You must be very disappointed after investing this much time and energy, but everyone will be fine. I am very disappointed, too. I hope it becomes a learning moment.”
Margo weeps a bit and Jeff wraps his arm around her. “We were just so excited to have this exceptional child. I know at first we didn’t think we would really go through with it, but after meeting Mirza’s family and seeing everyone at the institute, we were really looking forward to limbs galore,” says Margo.
“We’ll be fine after a few tears, Raj,” says Jeff, using his first name, as if to acknowledge that the more professional part of their relationship was over. “A week ago, we weren’t even considering this, so we hadn’t had our hearts set on it for very long.” Margo’s nods, while wiping away a few tears. “I feel badly that we took this chance with Tinker.”
“I’ll share the blame with you there. This is so rare, I’ll work very hard to figure out what went wrong, but sometimes, we just never find the answers. I know you’ll be fine and I thank you for your trust in me. And I will stand by my assessment that Tinker was never in danger.” After another hesitation, he continues, “Are you up for some visitors? There is a very pretty young gal most anxious to see you.”
“That might be just what I need,” says Margo, wiping some tears from her eyes.
Mirza walks in with Pia. Pia has Molly Moo in her viper grip.
“After bringing you here, I went back and got Kaya and Pia insisted on coming, too. So, we’re all here. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”
Pia walks in behind her dad without a hint of her earlier shyness. Holding out the repaired cow to Margo, she says, “Mellow Moo wants to see you. And, I thought maybe you should take her home with you so you can take care of her.”
Margo takes Mellow Moo from Pia’s hands and holds her close to her chest. “Oh, Pia. I fixed her up so she could go back to looking after you. That is what I do. That’s my job and Mellow Moo will be much happier here. Believe me, cows are treated much better in India than where I come from in the US.” Margo kisses the cow and hands her back to Pia.
“Really, you don’t want Mellow Moo?”
“I love Mellow Moo and I want you to keep her. She’ll be so, so much happier with you, here in India than where people have no respect for cows. Well, people love paintings of the black and white Holsteins, but, they still keep cows in barns and pull on their teats, ” Margo says as she pretends to milk the stuffed cow.
“OK, how about my elephant Ganza? Can you bring her back with you? Then, you can look at her and think about me?” asks Pia.
“Pia, sweetie, I don’t need you to give me anything to remember you. But, I will be honored to take Ganza home with me and I will tell my daughters and son all about you.”
“What are your children’s names?” asks Pia
“I have a girl about your age named Astrid and she has an older brother named Austin. This here,” says Margo rubbing her belly, “I believe is Bella. You like that name?”
Pia nods her head enthusiastically.
“You will need to come visit us in the United States so you two can meet properly.”
“OK Pia, let’s let Dr. Rice rest. You see she is really fine”, says Mirza.
Margo kisses Pia on the head and watches them leave and then says to Jeff and Dr. Hudini, “I hope our little girl is just like her, even if she doesn’t have the extra arms.”
“I want you to rest right here for the next twelve days and then you can head back to the states anytime. This way, I can check on you regularly. We’ll make you very comfortable here. You’ll probably beat me back to the States, but not by more than a day or two. I’m glad to hear you’ve named your little girl.”
Raj pats Margo’s stomach, “Nice to finally be introduced, Bella. But don’t be insulted if I call you Tinker Bell from time to time.”
Once Raj leaves, Jeff says, “Do I get a say in the name?”
“Hey, you had your say; it was on the list. I just picked one.”
For the next three days and nights, Margo and Jeff stayed at the clinic, watched movies and strolled the grounds studying how the fifth limbers approached their myriad tasks. Mirza and Keya were nearly constant companions during the evenings, during which time Margo taught them how to play a variety of card games. When Mirza lamented that Margo was constantly changing the rules, she told him she only did it 80% of the time. Good to his word, Raj visited ever few hours and when Margo looked ready for a task, he brought her into his on-site pet clinic where he requested, and she gladly provided, consulting services on the equipment and care for some of the dogs.
During this time, Jeff also took the opportunity to revisit Best Engineering where they reviewed the specifications a few additional times. However, the strange lack of questioning persisted, much to Jeff’s chagrin, and in the face of his encouragement. It made him quite apprehensive. But, hey, he rationalized, I am working with a group of geniuses. The time felt luxurious, the perfect balance of work interest and vacation. It ameliorated the guilty anguish they felt for operating on their healthy baby. After all, it was a very reasonable thing to do, as they were constantly reminded by looking at the staff.
On the third day, after some debate, Candy and Tony came visit. Candy thought it might be too painful right now for Margo and Jeff to see their healthy result. Tony convinced her that Margo and Jeff would be emphatically supportive of them and their child and to stop feeling this survivor’s guilt. Margo and Jeff were mature, thoughtful people who would never feel that kind of jealously, he assured her. Although Candy wasn’t quite sure she herself could be that generous, she knew she’d need to face them sooner or later. May as well get it done, as per the sooner is better than later rule. As soon as she walked into Margo’s room, she realized how right Tony was about their friends. The four of them strolled to the music room and hung out with the Fifth Limb Jazz ensemble. Dr. Hudini found them there and ordered up a café table with pastries, chocolate truffles and cappuccino. Way too soon, it was time for Candy and Tony to depart. For the next two days, this scene repeated, diet be damned. Then, it was time for Candy and Tony to head home.
A week later, it’s time for Jeff and Margo to say good-bye to the staff, Dr. Hudini, Mirza, Keya and Pia. It felt to Margo like the heart twangs of leaving summer camp; but she desperately missed their perfectly normal, healthy kids. Zoom with the virtual hugs and kisses would never replace the real thing; at least no time soon. Everyone at the clinic agreed that virtual reality would certainly help with the last frontier of the flat world, and until then, they would zoom regularly. As they were parting, Dr. Hudini promised to bring Mirza and his family to the states for a “business conference” timed with Bella’s first birthday party.